Go ‘Off-Brand’ and On Purpose
- deborahberrymanyog
- Jun 14
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 15
Dear Changeable One,
Little known fact: I used to be a ballet teacher. And a high-flying corporate exec. I know, wild right?!
I’ve also been the party girl who went too far, a yoga teacher, a business owner, the all-in, happily married wife - and now, the content, clear-eyed woman choosing single life in her fifties.
I’ve known joy, loss, grit, grace, champagne highs and rock-bottoms.
It might look like a chaotic patchwork. But each chapter has been a brave, messy attempt to live closer to who I really am.
And isn’t that the point?
The Sacredness of Starting Again
In yoga philosophy, reincarnation is the soul trying to remember who it really is underneath all the stories, roles and identities - lifetime after lifetime - until it remembers its true nature: whole, free, already enough.
I don’t know if we come back. But I do believe we live many lives, seasons, chapters within this one.
Through that lens, beginning again isn’t failure. It’s ESSENTIAL. And staying the same - keeping the peace or the status quo - is what keeps us stuck.
Deep down you probably already know this. You even (sort of) know what needs to change, and so it’s pretty simple. But let’s not confuse simple with easy.
When Who You’ve Been No Longer Fits
Here’s what makes it hard: we’ve built a sort of brand for ourselves.
Not just online (though yes, Instagram has turned us into our own, weird PR departments!), but in the stories we tell ourselves and others about who we are:
The fixer.
The one holds it together.
The reliable one.
The good one.
The glue.
Changing your story means letting go of the identity that’s held you for years - and also held you back. And that can feel terrifying.
(Nobody warns you that personal growth might come with stretch marks and an existential crisis.)
And yes, like you - I’ve done all the things: therapy, coaching, yoga retreats, journaling - even consulting with a Shaman under the Mexican sunrise.
And still, I find myself thinking: “Haven’t I dealt with this already? Why am I still stuck here with this same old pattern?”
Big exhale if you relate. Oh thank God - not just me.
Is It Time to Shed the Old Story?
You might be ready if
You’re tired, resentful, over it
You complain more than usual
There’s a quiet ache of “this isn’t it”
Conflict’s up - with others, or yourself
You daydream about disappearing (or a one-way ticket to Portugal)
So what might going ‘off-brand’ actually look like?
👉 Saying no. Doing less. Being more. Starting again.
👉 It might mean speaking up, changing your mind, resting more, or putting yourself back on the priority list - finally.
👉 It’s no longer fixing what isn’t yours to fix. Not being the peacekeeper, the emotional sponge, or the one who smooths it all over.
👉 It’s feeling what you feel. Wanting what you want. And yes - sometimes disappointing others rather than abandoning yourself.
👉 It’s living from wholeness, not performance.
A Life That’s Yours. Fully. Finally.
Ok, truth bomb – other people might not like it when you go off brand. You're not being who they expect you to be. And that's uncomfortable. And that’s OK.
They'll figure it out. And maybe they'll even grow too.
But we can't wait around waiting for someone to be ready, or to give us permission. 'Waiting' is short hand for 'your short, precious life passing you by'.
You don’t need permission to change my love.
But in case you’re waiting for it - here it is.
You have permission to go off-brand.
This isn’t about reinventing yourself for show. It’s about returning to the truth of who you are - at once, the best version of yourself (who you might not yet have ever imagined) and the most essential version you have always been
THAT’s what I want - for me, and for you.
We’re not here to impress or to get it all right (whatever that means!?)
We’re here to live. Fully, messily, gloriously alive.
Don’t wait till the end of your life to finally give yourself permission to be who you are. That would truly break my heart, and yours.
You don’t need a grand plan. You need a whisper: “Maybe I don’t have to keep pretending.”And then another: “Maybe I could want what I want. Even now. Even here.”
Darling, you belong to yourself.
So please - begin again.
You don’t need to burn it all down to do it. Sometimes the most radical change starts with a whispered “no more” or a sacred “me first.”
Be off-brand.
And wildly, gloriously on purpose.
Tiny, brave steps count.
I see you. I'm right here, rooting and tooting for you Go gently, stay curious and always with love, Deborah 💛
PS I love receiving your messages: the tiny steps, the big frustrations, the “is it just me?” moments. If something in you is stirring - whether it’s a quiet knowing or a full-blown identity shake-up, I’m here.
And if you’re ready for support, I’ve got some beautiful ways we can walk this next chapter together. See here or DM me 💛
