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This was meant to be the relaxing bit…

Dear One-Who-Needs-a-Holiday-from-the-Holiday


YES! My favourite season of Summer is here. (Although I said the same thing about Spring… calling myself out!)


It’s the season where routines loosen, and we should feel freer, lighter, more spacious. And often we do.


Aaaand sometimes… summer brings a different kind of weight.


Maybe you're juggling kids and family, riding the crescendo of wrapping up on work so you can actually rest, or carrying the load for everyone else. Maybe it’s the pressure of holiday FOMO on social media “having the BEST time!”


This month should feel like a break. But for many, I know it doesn’t. Not in the way we really need.


Instead of rest: resentment.

Instead of stillness: guilt. That twitchy sense that you should be doing something useful. There’s the pressure to make it all magical. To stay reachable. To keep saying yes when your body is whispering: please dear God, not this.


Too much people-pleasing.

Not enough solitude.

Too many decisions that aren’t even yours.

Not enough space to hear yourself think.


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Maybe you're the emotional glue. The steady one. The capable one who ‘has it covered’ – even when you’re quietly unravelling.

Maybe you're just tired of being needed all the time.

Or maybe it’s subtler - a quiet ache that shows up in the sigh you keep swallowing. The eye-roll. The clenched smile. The craving to disappear, just for a while.

 

Here’s what I want to offer, just for you this week my darling:

🌿  You don’t have to do it all. (I know you think I’ve lost the plot, but it’s true!)

🌿  You don’t have to be the one that makes it all happen.

🌿  You’re allowed to ask others share the load, help plan + figure things out.

🌿  You’re allowed to rest in a way that feels nourishing to YOU.

🌿  You can say no kindly – and still be deeply loving.

 

Don’t believe me?  Good. It's good to be sceptical about anything I (or anyone) suggests as helpful! My love, you don’t have to believe me. I’d much rather you trusted the wisest part of you, who already knows deep down this is true.


So let’s pause for just a cotton-second, and try a playful experiment:


Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Drop your attention down from your head (where all those naughty shoulds are living rent-free), and into your body.

Now ask yourself:

Does this really have to be on me?

What would happen if I didn’t do it?

And what, truly, would be so bad about that?


Then wait a while….


(Pro tip – when you’re mind starts to interrupt with 'yeah buts', you can say "not right now please mind, I’m asking my body for the truth".)


Interesting, huh?


Minimum Dose, Maximum Effect


A good boundary doesn’t have to be a dramatic wall - just a tiny tweak that shifts the dynamic. So here’s a small boundary check-in:


💭 What’s one thing you can say, do or ask for this week (preferrably today while it's fresh in mind) that will take the pressure off and bring you more EASE this summer?


Hold that gently. No fixing. Just noticing is enough for now.


(And if this speaks to you… I’ll be sharing something in September that goes deeper. Stay tuned.)


HIVEMIND WISDOM: 


So what’s your version of “This doesn’t have to be on me”?


Here’s what's alive for me right now: Not over-explaining my “no.”Because “No” is enough. “That doesn’t work for me right now” is more than enough. No waffle. No white lies. No shrinking to make it softer. You don’t have to carry someone else’s disappointment.


A few more for inspiration:

  • 🌮 “We’re doing taco night. Build your own.”

    Because your job isn’t to micromanage everyone’s taste buds.

    (Also works for jacket potatoes, picnic platters, or anything ending in “-night.”)


  • 😴 “I’m going to bed. You lot sort yourselves.”

    Because being the Emotional Support Human after 9pm is optional.

    Your rest is revolutionary. Yes, you can leave them mid-Netflix if needed.


  • 💻 “I’ll reply to this… next week.”

    Because their urgent isn’t your emergency.

    And no, no need to open with “Sorry for the delay…”


  • 📱 “Archive the Message thread or WhatsApp group.”

    Because you’re not a cruise director, therapist, or emotional translator.

    Muting isn’t rude — it’s resourcing. Pop back in if and when it suits you.


💬 Is this resonating?

I’d genuinely love to hear what steps you’ve already put in place - or feel ready to try - that will help carve out the downtime and play you need this summer.


Let's swap notes!


You can inspire me and anyone else who could do with some tips (or might be ‘asking for a friend’) - pop a comment below if you’re reading on socials, or reply to this email.

Please remember: include yourself in the circle of fun, ease, and rest this summer, darling. Full permission granted.

 

Otherwise, what the hell is it all for?


I love every damn one of you – you know that, don’t you.


Go gently, be wild, stay curious,

Deborah 💛

 
 
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