Still Hustling? Just Now in Leggings

Dear Recovering One,

My relationship with overworking started way young. At 16, for many complicated reasons, I found myself homeless and deeply afraid. It was risky, and things could have gone down a very different path.

But (thankfully) instinct kicked in  -  I got myself not one but two jobs and learned quickly: If I work hard and get it right, I’ll be okay.

That tiny belief carved itself into my bones. Survival strategy turned identity. And the world rewarded it.

(Maybe you know that one too  -  the invisible hustle that keeps you safe enough to survive, but never quite home.)

So in my twenties, when I landed a finance job and was fast-tracked as “talent” (translation: someone who doesn’t say no) I was a duck in water. Everything looked pretty shiny on the outside but was built on fear of not being enough. Exhausting.

And like so many of us, I added yoga to “balance things out.” In my first years as a teacher  -  and later when training hundreds more  -  I saw how easy it is to swap the corporate suit for stretchy pants and carry the same hustle in our bones.

We can do wholesome things in unwholesome ways.

Self-care helps, but it’s not the same as building a meaningful, embodied life.

If you’ve ever come home from a yoga class and still felt flat  -  or gone on a retreat only to return to the same stuckness  -  this might be why.

We need more than hot baths and green juice. We need the beautiful 3:

🌿 Self-care  -  tending, pausing, resourcing.

👭 Connection  -  with our true selves and nourishing relationships.

🦄 Unicorn Space  -  time for joy, creativity, and soul-lit purpose.

When any of these three are missing, we might function -  but we feel a little homeless inside. The lights are on, but no one’s home.

I’m talking especially to my space holders here - busy mothers, carers, yoga teachers, high achievers. We become masters at doing all the “right” things… in all the wrong ways. Still chasing safety. Still abandoning ourselves.

Choose your discomfort.

There’s discomfort in clinging to old strategies like busyness and perfectionism when they start to suffocate.

There’s also discomfort in not using them  -  in trying new ways we don’t yet trust.

One leads to freedom. The other? Like being buried alive.

Here’s what helps  -  for me, for my clients, for hundreds of women I’ve guided over 20 years:

🧘‍♀️ Disarm the hyper-tense nervous system - through somatic movement or yoga.

🧠 Retrain the mind  -  with meditation and self-inquiry to challenge old beliefs.

🌱 Take tiny, aligned actions  -  with support. I’ve watched women go from daily burnout to resting without guilt, saying no with power, asking for what they need without apology.

You don’t have to do this alone. Please don’t do it alone

So let’s pause, take a breath and quietly check in:Which old patterns feel familiar?

• People-pleasing?

• Numbing with food, wine, Netflix, busy or fixing other peoples’ lives?

• Self-silencing?

• Overgiving? Under-asking?

(Full marks if you got them all.)

It’s okay. We can’t change what we won’t name. If something inside you is whispering I can’t keep doing life this way  -  that’s not failure. That’s your soul stirring. It’s a sign you’re ready for something gentler. Truer. Freer.

It’s time to answer.

There is another way (I promise!)

Maybe there’s a younger part of you too  -  the girl who learned that being busy or perfect or right meant being safe. She doesn’t need fixing. She needs your presence. Proof that there’s another way.

Each time you say no to the old ways, and choose rest, play or create  -  you show her. Little by little, she believes. And that brings a peace and wholeness no achievement or shiny worktop will ever match.

Imagine waking up without the dread.

Saying no and feeling powerful, not guilty.

Living from your centre, not your calendar.

It’s not about burning it all down. It’s about coming home  -  gently, bit by bit.

If that’s you – I hope we get to work together sometime soon. Not to fix you. But for you to come home to yourself. At last.

With you in the undoing, and until then go really gently

Deborah x

PS: I’m hosting not one but TWO wonderful days in July. These days aren’t a quick fix - but over and over, I watch women leave lighter, clearer, and more at home in their own skin than they’ve felt in years. PURE. WILD. SELF.  -  Saturday 12 July

A day of slow movement, nature, rest, play, swim, coach and connect - no pressure to have it all figured out.

SILENT RETREAT  -  Sunday 13 July. No small talk, no to-do list  -  just space to hear your own quiet wisdom.