Well, hello! How the angel are you? Gosh it’s been a while eh? Time feels like a moving slip wind through my hands lately. As I’m coming to the end of my 3 months here in the U.S, I’m looking through photos of my time road tripping through national parks and forests. I’ve been lucky enough to place myself in front of so much beauty and awe; and my goddess, it’s been good for the soul! (some pics to come, I promise!)
As I looked through, I was reminded of the multiple times I’ve been asked if I’m doing a daily blog or vlog as I make my way around the world – enthusiastically told how awesome that would be. Hmmmm, Maybe? And truthfully, I considered it: a daily blog could somehow give this journey more meaning, purpose and structure. I’d have something to ‘show’ for it.
And then approx. 7.5 seconds later, something magical happened (thank you baby Jesus!). A wiser, more seasoned part of me chipped in – gently placed her hand on my hand, and with sincere love and patience, said, “Sweetheart, we know how THAT would go don’t we?!”
And damn it, she was right. I know myself well enough to know, if I committed to documenting the trip, the whole thing would become a show - wrapped around making the blog/video the best it could be. Every experience would be filtered through the lens of “how can I write about this?” “oh this will be good for the blog!” “what’s the best way to edit this photo?” I’d be so busy thinking about how to share the experience, I’d actually miss enjoying or even having the experience.
Despite knowing this and deciding on a hard ‘hell no’, I still have the urge to whip out my camera when something remotely interesting happens – eager to get a great shot, rather than simply enjoying the experience. Of course, some of it is simply wanting to record the moment – but I’m recording a moment I haven’t truly experienced as I was, well……recording. It just shows me how well I’ve been trained by those oh so clever, social media drug dealers.
Now don’t get me wrong, there have definitely been times in my life where it’s felt important to be seen - to have a voice, to be heard and witnessed in the world. And at those times, I go ahead and put myself out there, enjoying my own public and personally curated ‘ra-ra-platform’. But right now, I feel different. I’m hungry to be present to my own life, to be fully IN the experience. To hear myself, to see myself, and be a loving kind witness to all of the beautiful messy truth.
It’s been suggested posting a daily blog is a great way to keep a record…..like a journal. Maybe they’re right, maybe I’m just old school. Instead, I’ve chosen to simply journal and take tons of photos. It’s true, my memory is already quite questionable (I’m still not convinced I should be allowed out unsupervised if I can’t remember what I went upstairs for?!), so I’m sure I’ll appreciate these recorded memories and reflections in years to come.
This place feels true for me right now – reflecting, enjoying and sharing musings once-a-month(ish). Aaaaaand, I give myself FULL PERMISSION to change my mind at any time – whether it’s blogging daily, posting randomly or returning to being a grand ol’ social media socialite, blogging and posting my face off – I’ll keep adjusting to make it a good ‘fit’. Anyone who’s all in right now, I whole-heartedly doth my hat to you – thank you for putting out content!
Wherever you are on this journey, I wish you well. May your choice (to post or not to post, blog or not) be exactly what you need right now. Go lightly my friends, and always, ALWAYS with love,
Deborah
PS I’m very much enjoying the irony of me posting here about posting ;)